Why?

Today I meant to post a blog answering some questions tagged for me by fellow bloggers, but I really wanted to share this conversation I had. I shall post my original blog for today in a couple of days time.

Random: Why do you like fantasy so much?

Me: (Raises eyebrow) Why not?

Random: Seriously, why?

Me: Because...because it's exciting, and it's beautiful.

Random: But reality is exciting and beautiful.

Me: And I know that, I can see that everyday if I look hard enough. Just pop onto Google and look at the amazing stories and pictures people share. But in fantasy, all impossible things are possible. Nothing is unimaginable.

Random: Ahh...I see. Fair enough.

A little snippet of my life at university. Hope everyone is having a great start to March. One last thing before I finish, I wanted to show anyone who hadn't seen this a picture that Jo on Once Upon a Bookcase shared, and I think it is just brilliant.

:)

Long Time No See

  Wow...it's been a long time since I've been on Blogger, I haven't even glanced at it. It feels odd even writing something new for a post, although it's also mixed with another feeling, one that can only be described in three words...I've missed this.

  The festive season seemed to sweep me away, and I spent my days watching Christmas television, eating lots of chocolate and satsumas, generally lazying around. Then January arrived and I realised I had lots of uni work to do, so there went my days. And then suddenly all the days seemed to come and go, and before I knew it we're nearly at the end of February.

                                       No way. *Blinks*

  It feels like nothing has happened, yet so much that I can even think what. Life is as bumpy as ever, but I know that's a sentiment we can all share in.

  Talking about sharing, I wanted to share something with you. (If there's anyone still left reading this.) I talk a lot on here about my dreams of becoming a writer, however there is one dream that I long ago realised I would have to set aside.

  

   In my wildest dreams, the kind where I can do ANYTHING...anything in the world and know I'll be awesome at it, I act. But not just any kind of acting, I want to be an actress of musicals. The kind that dances, and cries while they're singing, then plasters on a smile for the finale. (Of course, not all musicals end happily.)

   But I put this dream aside because I had to do that horrid thing and admit that I wasn't good enough. Because I wasn't. However I still dream that one day I will have a chance to at least be in the chorus of some professional production, then at least I can say that I tried. And it was brilliant. I know that deep down I still have hopes to act, act in anything that will have me, but now I've got this fear that I'm not good enough for that either. For a variety of reasons.

  The thing is, as cheesy and cliché as this will sound...it's the truth. Writing saved me. Without that connection of pen to paper, fingers on lettered keys, I would have lost myself and ended up somewhere that I don't even want to think about. I almost was there. Then the fact that the writing turned out not to be half bad was just a bonus.

  For me writing isn't just about the recognition, although it's great when praise comes, it's about the feeling of telling something. Telling something about myself, or a fictional character. Telling a story that only I can tell because it's in me. That is what's amazing about it. And when I read, I can see that feeling pouring off the page, because I know that writer felt it too, a burning desire to share something within them.

   And now I've shared, and I'm looking forward to catching up on some of the blogs I've missed to see what you've shared too.

Christmas Has Fallen...(Giveaway)

 Christmas has well and truly set in at home, the family's presents are being wrapped (I cannot wait to see my nieces and nephews faces), my friend's Secret Santas have been drawn, the list for the Blogger's Secret Santa I'm participating in are out, and carols are being sung around Christmas trees at work. (Well they will start again (the first carol show was back in September) now Tennis is over and once Gary Barlow has done his thang.)
 And a special gift arrived from the lovelies at Big Book Little Book Blog :D :

Such a gamer.

 This has to be the best month of the year, when do the games begin?

 So it has been one of those years, but I'm here to dwell on happier things. Way back in October something rather amazing happened.
  On Wednesday 26th I was lucky enough to get the chance to meet one of my favourite authors Cassandra Clare.

 Now in celebration of the release of Clockwork Prince this week (who else is excited? Jealous of others who've read it already?) and because Christmas is coming soon, I am going to give-away a paperback copy of City of Fallen Angels. And it's SIGNED, I carried this book with me to the signing (along with all my others) and the wonderful Ms Clare signed every single thing for me. Look:

  It is a second hand copy, I've only read it once. (That was after it arrived late through my letter box and I had to devour it to see what everyone else was talking about.)
  This is going to be international, since it's Christmas I wanted anyone to be able to enter, and this is open until midnight (GMT) Monday 12th December.

 Now all you have to do is post a comment with an email address. Because this is my first giveway, maybe my last, (and I haven't had luck with form thingys) I will be putting everyone's name in a hat (actually it will be a mixing bowl) and my Mum will be drawing the winner.



I think that's all, any questions just ask and I'll reply in the comments.



Now let us sing a song, Last Christmas anyone?

My Stage...

  I always wanted to perform, I can't remember a time when I wasn't forcing my cousins to dress up and put on shows for our parents, where we would put on a play I wrote or pretend to be the Spice Girls and give a concert (And because I was the youngest, I was Baby Spice).

  Sometimes I would even cook dinner for my parents, set up the front room like it was our own restaurant, then pick out fancy clothes for them to wear at dinner while I ate mine in the kitchen. I used to love doing that, designing the menus and setting up the table.

 One year me and my brother made my Mum roses for Mother's day; I'm pretty sure she still has them saved in a box somewhere.

 I even wrote a musical about Hercules when I was about 8 or 9, I read out what I wrote while my brother and Mum took turns to type it up on our typewriter. Then I gave my lyrics to my piano teacher who wrote the score. Then my Dad took me to see my headteacher, it turns out he had asked her to read the script! It never was performed, but the script still waits patiently somewhere in my room (I'm sure if I re-read it, it would seem awful, but I'm proud of it none-the-less).

  When I left Primary School my ambition was to be a actor/singer/writer/dancer. I wanted to do anything and everything creative. I took Drama and Music GCSE, and when we had to write a short story for English Literature it reminded me how much I loved writing. 

 Then I found out I got into the school of my dreams, the performing arts school I had been dreaming of going to since I was 13, and I was going to study theatre, learn the craft of acting from professionals.

  Those two years I spent there, from the ages of 16 – 18, were honestly some of the best of my life. I had my greatest friends from school still in touch with me, and I made lots of new ones, and we had the best experiences we could possibly have. I can't even recall exactly how many times we performed.

 One of my highlights had to be when myself and a friend created our own show and had it performed; we were the writers/directors/producers/set designers/costume makers – everything. We got together a group of our friends and put on an amazing show, using multimedia. We even were allowed to paint the walls in our performance room (which I had to be in at 8am one morning to do).

  I don't regret anything from those two years, going to that school was the best decision I have ever made.

  Then, a few weeks before I got my final results, my Dad sadly passed away.

  And over time, words have become my performance outlet. Now every day I remind myself how good it feels to express my stories and characters through the words on the page, and to see people enjoy what I've written is the greatest buzz of all.

  I would like to go back to acting one day, but for now I'm loving this journey I'm on.

  At the start of this I was completely unprepared for how hard I would have to work. How difficult world building can be, how tough you have to be during revisions, how straining and frustrating querying can be – but do I give up? No. I can't give up, not when I've found something I believe myself to be good at, something I think I really have a chance at.

  That's why I keep going, taking rejection and criticism on the chin and work harder to improve. This year has taught me a lot about writing, and a lot of it has come from the fantastic bloggers I've found. And as much as this years been tough in so many ways, I realise there is so much to be thankful for.

  And on one last note, if anyone wants to check out a favourite blog of mine: Big Book Little Book, they are a great tips and reviewer site who are running competitions in the run up to Christmas.

 Check them out if you can, and I'll be back soon with some special Christmasy posts. 

 For now I hope you're all doing well, and looking forward for this special month that is December. 

My Pal

I wanted to take some time today to talk about this four legged guy I knew. 

  He was medium height, with glossy black fur and dopey dark eyes that could speak a thousand words.

  He liked to pull up part of the flooring and blame me and my two legged pal Rae.

  In his old age he became partial to barking at his own shadow, howling whenever my Mum was out.

  Once during a party he fell in a pond we didn't know existed in a neighbours garden.

  He liked to lounge in the sun, curling himself up small so he could lay in the rays that streamed through our windows.

  When he realised my sister's dogs were coming to stay he hid his toys; to this day we have never found them.

  My young nephew would like to imagine he was a horse, and my pal wouldn't even lift his head when my nephew pulled on his ears to go go go.

  He was known for dressing up as a fairy.

  In his old age everyone thought him meek but my Mum had to chase him comically down a hill, bringing the traffic to a halt behind her. I waited at the top of the hill with our bags.

 Whenever you were sad he would comfort you.

 I'm quite sure he liked other boys.

 Before coming to our home he lived with an aggressive female; I think she put him off other ladies for life.

 He was gentle, he was loving.

 His name was Oscar, my old boy, and on Friday 25^th November 2011 he went to sleep, forever. 

Oscar lookingvar. (His nickname).

  

 He had 17 fabulous years, 119 in dog years.

  Oscar, my sweet pal, thank you. 

I'm not quite sure what we're gonna do without you tap-tapping around here.

  I hope it's sunny enough up there for you.

Proof of his liking for wings.

Tea Anyone...?

        Hi guys, *waves frantically*.

 There's no internet at my house at the moment while we switch providers, so I'm writing this from a computer at Uni. My essay sits on a word document somewhere on the screen, almost finished.

 Anyway, just wanted to pop by to see how everyone is doing? Any news I've missed?

 If you want, pull up a seat and we shall have a cuppa while we're here. Sugar? How milky?

 I'll be back soon (I hope) with something more interesting to talk about, my blog posts have been saving themselves, but for now if anyone feels like it then do pop over to Big Book Little Book's Blog. I was an entrant in their Harry Potter competition, and I spoke about my love for Book 3, The Prisoner of Azkaban.
 They are such a great blog, one of my favourite reviewers here.

 Anyhoo, I hope you all have enjoyed the catch up and tea (one day I shall get a real cup to all of you fabulous people) and have a good weekend.

Till next time, =).

Bah to Bluegh

  It's been one of those weeks, not unusual. I don't have much faith for it to get better before the end of 2011. (Bring on 2012 - as long as it is improved.)

  But I've decided not to be negative in this post, instead I'm going to list five things to be thankful/happy for. (Especially since today honours those wonderful heroes, and this is inspired by the lovely Meredith at Fairy Tales and Cappuccino. who posts 'Five Random Thoughts on a Friday.')

1. Writing. Ok, this might be obvious but I've been thinking a lot about love this week, and writing is my love. Even if I never get anywhere, I know that I will write, it seeps out of me and I can't control it. 
   
   
2. Thank god for reruns of Malcolm in The Middle. When I was younger I never found it funny, but this past year it has brought so much laughter to my house. It's mad, hilarious and scarily truthful. 
   
   
3. Random messages from friends that say things like like; I miss your face; I've been thinking of you – you know what that means – *bursts into song* 'You are always on my mind...' Oh they make me laugh, and feel contented. 
   
   
4. DOWNTON ABBEY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!! Do I need to say more? Doctor Who and Downton Abbey on the same day? With good food and games? Sigh. 
   
   
5. Quote of the week: 'She is involved in work her soul must have' – Alice Walker
   (I am getting that engraved on something, anything. Because it warms my heart.)

  I hope you've all had a good week, and you crazy NaNo folks have found it productive.

  Here's to a glorious weekend.