On Being Critiqued

 A wonderful and temporarily heart-wrenching thing happened to me the other day; my work was critiqued. 

 And not by my Mum, who is a sound, encouraging reader who helps me progress, but by a stranger.

 As soon as I sent the first few chapters off my heart did that flutter thing, and I wondered if I would be able to open her reply.

  Lucky for me I did.

 She pointed out my flaws in my writing, which I was either unaware of, or subconsciously ignored.

  At first my heart sort of stopped, and my stomach fell out. All my hard work suddenly seemed wasted. I've been developing this story since the start of 2010, when the snow in my garden inspired me to write the piece of work I'd been longing to.

 (And if anyone sees my first drafts then I think I would die of embarrassment. Oh the shame, what was I thinking? How could that possibly be my best work?)

  

 I, eventually, proceeded to show my Mum the email, who pointed out the positives to me. (There were some brilliant positives – once I began breathing again I smiled with pride, and blushed too.) Then we had a long discussion, where I cried.

  The one thing my Mum said to me that sticks out in my mind is, 'You being critiqued is good for me too, I'm learning to see what I should have seen before. It's fantastic,' she went on to say, 'This advice is great, but as she (my critique partner) says, and so do I, ultimately the story is yours to tell. Tell it how you want to.'

 After that we went out for a while, and I didn't really think much about it. Or at least I tried not to. My thoughts couldn't help but mull over how much work I had to do (it really isn't that much, but my mind seemed to disagree), and how little time there was to do it in (that part still feels true).

 When I arrived back home I took another look at the edits, and set about reworking the first few pages.

Already I feel so much more fulfilled and satisfied with my work. It feels richer and cleaner, and now I am aware of my weaknesses and strengths, I have things in mind to work on.

  Seriously, this stranger will never know how much I owe her. And my Mum. Two amazing women, who's acquaintance with me is at opposite ends of the spectrum, but right now I am valuing them both in high esteem.

  When I started this year I wanted to share my work with others. I am so happy I took the plunge. I feel so much more knowledgeable, it's an indescribable feeling when someone says your story is worth telling. It's just my craft needs some work.

  I know it will take time (sigh) but I need to continue to learn patience if I want my writing to be the best it can be.

  So yes, getting critiqued is hard, but the rewards are splendid.

 Besides, you wouldn't want any old thing out there would you? Not when you are capable of so much more.

Sunday Thoughts

It's been quite a hectic few days. (And not just because of the Doctor Who finale, and the judges houses stage of the X Factor) I can't even tell you why, but it almost feels as though everything has been happening all at once. 

I've been spending some time with my friends, which has been good. (Perhaps not so for the liver, poor thing has been put through the mill lately) The birthday season has started again, so there's been a lot of celebrations. And my friend's 3 month old daughter is being christened later this month, which is very exciting. She is an absolutely beauty. 

I've been preparing for University. I started this by purchasing myself a wireless printer, which I adore.

I do love gadgets and technology, even though I'm not great at handling it.

I can finally print from my laptop! Goodbye days of emailing myself my work, then using my Mums computer to copy and paste into a new document. Hello time saved.

Little things like that make me happy. 

Now the eve has arrived before my first lecture and I am so nervous. I didn't get my modules till late last week, so I haven't had enough time to find my reading materials. Gah.

I like to build these things up in my head and over complicate them, usually I am wrong and I wonder why I worried so much in the first place.

I really hope that's the case with this first week. I suppose only one way to find out. 

Also this week I've been thinking a lot about words, more specifically the number of them.

I bit the bullet and submitted some work to be critiqued on a blog. By complete strangers. It was a little painful, but wonderfully enriching.

Yes, being critiqued is hard (especially by people I don't know and have never met) but I feel it is needed for writers to grow and learn.

When starting my novel, I had no clue about word count. Honestly. I just thought it was a fun number for me to know.

Then I did some research on books and querying.

I really didn't have a clue. 

My novel was way too long. After reading some good articles from other authors and agents on word count in novels, it lead me to the decision to break my story into two. And I think it's strengthened the story, one of the best things to have come out of this year.

A good place to start if you're looking into this is this great entry on agent Jennifer Laughran's blog. It also lists some great examples of books on the market, from early reader to YA.

So this evening I end this blog on a wondrous note. Wondrous apprehension. You know when you've made some decisions, then a lot of things have happened, and you just hope it will work out in the end. That's sorta where I am this evening. I feel full of so much and I know I'm about to get even fuller. (Especially with knowledge - I hope at least.)

I hope you've all had a good weekend. And here's to the start of October, can't wait to see where we all are at the end of it.

You never know what could happen.

I also want to leave you with this beautiful cover of Wherever You Will Go, discovered from an advert for Twinings tea.