Sunday Thoughts

It's been quite a hectic few days. (And not just because of the Doctor Who finale, and the judges houses stage of the X Factor) I can't even tell you why, but it almost feels as though everything has been happening all at once. 

I've been spending some time with my friends, which has been good. (Perhaps not so for the liver, poor thing has been put through the mill lately) The birthday season has started again, so there's been a lot of celebrations. And my friend's 3 month old daughter is being christened later this month, which is very exciting. She is an absolutely beauty. 

I've been preparing for University. I started this by purchasing myself a wireless printer, which I adore.

I do love gadgets and technology, even though I'm not great at handling it.

I can finally print from my laptop! Goodbye days of emailing myself my work, then using my Mums computer to copy and paste into a new document. Hello time saved.

Little things like that make me happy. 

Now the eve has arrived before my first lecture and I am so nervous. I didn't get my modules till late last week, so I haven't had enough time to find my reading materials. Gah.

I like to build these things up in my head and over complicate them, usually I am wrong and I wonder why I worried so much in the first place.

I really hope that's the case with this first week. I suppose only one way to find out. 

Also this week I've been thinking a lot about words, more specifically the number of them.

I bit the bullet and submitted some work to be critiqued on a blog. By complete strangers. It was a little painful, but wonderfully enriching.

Yes, being critiqued is hard (especially by people I don't know and have never met) but I feel it is needed for writers to grow and learn.

When starting my novel, I had no clue about word count. Honestly. I just thought it was a fun number for me to know.

Then I did some research on books and querying.

I really didn't have a clue. 

My novel was way too long. After reading some good articles from other authors and agents on word count in novels, it lead me to the decision to break my story into two. And I think it's strengthened the story, one of the best things to have come out of this year.

A good place to start if you're looking into this is this great entry on agent Jennifer Laughran's blog. It also lists some great examples of books on the market, from early reader to YA.

So this evening I end this blog on a wondrous note. Wondrous apprehension. You know when you've made some decisions, then a lot of things have happened, and you just hope it will work out in the end. That's sorta where I am this evening. I feel full of so much and I know I'm about to get even fuller. (Especially with knowledge - I hope at least.)

I hope you've all had a good weekend. And here's to the start of October, can't wait to see where we all are at the end of it.

You never know what could happen.

I also want to leave you with this beautiful cover of Wherever You Will Go, discovered from an advert for Twinings tea. 

Storytellers & Dreams

A theme I've seen floating around the blogsophere of late is, why do we write? What drives us?
And it got me to thinking.

I've always written since I was small. My Dad was a great storyteller, and he was once close to having his own children's books published, but unfortunately his illness got worse and everything sort of fell through.
Although he never lost his passion.
When I hit my teenage years he would bend the ears of my nieces and nephews, and they loved it just at the same as I did.
(I was an aunt quite young, my first niece was born when I was 7 - it is the result of being the youngest of 8 siblings.)

So I guess my Dad is a quite a big driving force for me. When I was about 10 I had a piece of homework that was to write a summary of a story we had been told in class. And since we weren't given a specific length to abide by, I wrote the longest, 13 pages! Which was like me writing a novel in comparison to my classmates.
I remember my teacher (who I adored) telling my Dad that she stopped marking half way through because she was so engrossed and astounded. My Dad smiled and said, well she does like to ramble on.

Then I sorta got distracted from writing, well actually I didn't.
I was always writing snippets of stories and fan fictions through my teens. However it was always a back burner while I went out with my new 'cool' friends (who have stayed my closest friends since - best in fact) and dived into my time at college where I studied theatre.
My whole live seemed to be more or less devoted to those two things.
(And writing was always the hobby that didn't cost me much, except the price of pen and paper, and since money has always been tough it seemed like the best pastime when I couldn't afford to go out.)

Then a week after I turned 18, my Dad sadly passed away. And even though he had been ill most of my life, it was a tremendous shock when he departed.
Even now some days are harder than others.
I was a bit lost for a while, trapped somewhere with only my grief and mind for company. Those were some dark days.

One day I got to writing a story about a young girl who loses her Dad, and she meets a guy who she begins to fall for, but it turns out he has a big secret. Bigger than anything she could ever imagine.
And needless to say that story became free counselling sessions for me.
I do still one day to hope to share it with others when I finally finish it.

That story also gave me something else, it made me realise how much I love writing, and why hadn't I thought about doing something with it before?
It opened my mind, my imagination to stories I didn't even know I had in me. I found the fantastical tales I had always longed to write, but never thought myself capable.
And I've been writing everyday, with a passion, ever since.

It also helped strengthen the relationship with my Mum, because of those words we both understood the pain we were sharing, without the need to say it out loud.
Now she is my first reader, greatest critic, and the person who encourages me each and every day to follow my dreams.
One day I hope to help her achieve hers.

Then I embarked on learning more about becoming a professional writer, the world of agents and publishing.

And as much as I long to see my words in print, want others to read about the worlds and characters I've created, I will never lose the love and inner peace writing has given me.

There will always be work, mainly my poems, that I will keep for myself because they mean so much to me, but there is so much more of me I want to give and share with others.

Is there a reason you write? What keeps you going?

Hello New Friend...

On my way to work a couple days ago, I started a new story. I was thinking, oh god another one, doesn't that make the total 30 or something? (Actually I'm not even sure, I've tried to avoid counting them.)

But the character voice was really strong, and so sure of herself, yet I knew she was vulnerable in other ways. I couldn't just wave her off.
Out came the notebook I was carrying to work with hope of spending some time on a different story, and I began writing down what came to my head.

These are some random extracts from what I've written:

I suppose I've never been like other girls, well not ones I knew anyway. I didn't really share their interests or dreams.
The friends I'd made in year 7 weren't really what I'd call friends, not like the ones I'd seen on TV who were so lovingly loyal. I stuck with this small group because I had no one else, and it was better than eating my packed lunch in the corner of a classroom, waiting for a teacher to catch me.
That defiantly wasn't my best week.
The group I'd fallen into were seen as the 'rebels'. I defiantly wasn't what you called a misfit, but they never seemed opposed to that. Besides, it did them good to associate with me.

That was another thing about school that I hated, I blamed it for taking away the one friend I really cared about. And then that bloody place took away my passion for music. I had never really felt pressured to be good until I went there.

It sucked every last note I had, until I began playing so mechanically that I went home crying. I even went through a period where I was skipping lessons all together.
I suppose I did have a bit of rebellion in me after all.

"Look, here comes vacant Violet," Alisha smirked. I tried not to look too quickly in her direction, but I didn't want to prolong the feeling that came with seeing her. I loved that rush.

Violet was anything but vacant, the other girls had given her that name because she never said anything, and spent most of the lessons looking out the window in a day dreaming haze. That and they were jealous of how beautiful she was.

I suppose I always knew I was gay, even when I had to kiss Kay's older brother in a game of kiss or dare on her 13th birthday. I guess...I guess I just simply knew I liked girls.

There was no big moment of revelation or shock, no fighting it. My Dad even sat me down one day and asked me outright if I was a lesbian.
"Yes," I shrugged. He just nodded and smiled in a sort of contented way.
"Your aunt will be pleased," he said. My Dad's sister, Aunt Hilary, was gay, and extremely proud. I suppose you could say that explains my relaxed attitude over my sexual orientation. Some might even say it's genetic, but what should any of that matter? I am what I am as that song goes.
And every time Violet smiled at me, I couldn't help but wonder if she was what I am too.

Those are just a few things about this character that came into my head and I really enjoyed writing her.

I shared what I wrote with a good friend of mine, and she asked me if this was related to a short story I wrote some time ago. I said that wasn't the intention, then I began to think about that story. Somehow without even realising it I knew the stories were connected.

I wrote down a couple ideas and they all seemed to fit with other random ideas and notes I had jotted down somewhere, hoping I could use them later.
Now this story has been born, and although it will probably just be something I work on when an idea comes, I love it already.

Has anyone else ever had these moments, when you're so intent on working on one thing but something new manages to wangle it's way in, and you sigh but there's excitement rumbling in your belly? (Ok that last part might just be me, though you know what I mean.)

As I have said in a previous post I am always doing it, part of me is surprised how I've managed to finish any story. (That was one of the most satisfying feelings ever.)

Now after sharing that I leave you, wondering which story my fingers will want to write for first.

Forever Maggie Stiefvater

Sometimes a writer comes along and the only way to describe them is; magic. To me, and probably countless others, JK Rowling is the epitome of that, but Maggie Stievfater has her own brand of magic.

I can probably, I use probably strongly, understand why people don't like The Wolves of Mercy Falls series. However there is something about Maggie's writing that is so addictive that you don't even realise you've read forty pages. She writes with effortless beauty.

Every time I've picked up one of the three books I've been ill, but they have been the perfect escapism for me. Shiver introduced to me a great love story, Linger added more drama and depth and two more great characters.

Throughout each book I've been able to dive into these characters who are perfectly moulded, flaws and all. I think all the characters are great, in their own non-functional, broken way. They managed to find respect and love for each other, even though really they are opposites, and find a way to work together and attempt to get through the drama facing them all.

Nothing much in the way of action occurs in the series, except for me it doesn't feel so when you are reading it. Yes it's about two people fighting hard to be together, however it's also about human emotions. The book explores how we deal with grief and strive. How it can be hard to find the power to say yes to life, but when you do, you realise it's brilliant. And I will say that Maggie never loses the humour that most of us need to make it through a day.

There's a great scene in Forever between Cole, Sam and Grace and a raccoon. It seriously amused me so much I had to read it again. I love how all of Maggie's books do that, make you laugh without even realising it.

I love this series, for many reasons that I sometimes find it hard to explain. Even when I finished Forever, I read through the author's note and acknowledgements and just stared at the cover, wondering how these books had taken a hold on my heart.

I love Maggie's Lament & Ballad. I thought I loved Lament more, but I have to love James in Ballad. I feel as though I can identify with parts of his traits and personality, he is such an extraordinary character. One that still lingers in my mind even months after reading the books.

I am not only looking forward to Maggie's upcoming novel, The Scorpio Races, but I am extremely excited to read anything that comes from her next. I'm ready to devour it all.

The Power of Notebooks

I write. I try to write something every day, even if it's just a couple lines that I store away, unsure if they will ever be used.
I have ideas, so many ideas that my friends can't keep up. They wonder how my brain can process them all. I say that it's easy, but of course I would, I've become used to living with myself. Most days at least.
I have written two completed books, of a series I'm working on, and the first I've just finished its final round of revisions (Final for now anyway). I have about 15 other novels planned, and lots of extracts written for each.
Sometimes I wonder if I should stop, but how can you when something hits you? And it really doesn't go with what you're currently writing, but you know it's so good that you can't let it pass you by, to be forgotten. So that's why I write down every idea that I have.
This is the reason I own 40+ notebooks.

I have at least one notebook and folder for each individual story, all appropriately labelled; two notebooks for short stories; one notebook for character and setting ideas; some for picture book ideas; two notebooks for my poetry; notebooks for my university work; one cupcake notebook for my favourite recipes; a notebook that is always in my handbag; one for this very blog and one for personal notes and for event plans/birthday or Christmas presents, that kind of thing. (And of course I have lots of spare notebooks for if I run out or have a new idea, plus lots of scrap pieces of paper.)
Perhaps you don't have to go to the extreme that I do, but notebooks are a very good idea.

Author Zoë Marriott, of The Swan Kingdom, Daughter of The Flames, Shadows On The Moon, posted a video on youtube about notebooks being a writers best friend. And I couldn't agree with her more.

A notebook is a great tool for a writer. For instance the one for my series is set up somewhat like this:

1. First few pages have titles and vague plot information.
2. Then lots filled with character information; appearance; traits and history etc.
3. After that there's tons of information on the world and setting. Diagrams, pictures that sort of thing.
4. Then I have some pages for random facts and ideas.
5. The back pages are filled with pictures and lyrics I find inspirational.

That's how I tend to set out my notebooks. But find a way that works for you, a system that only you understand. Also have a lot of sellotape/glue/staples at hand, you will defiantly need them when sticking all your collected bits in.

I actually started this blog because I wanted to share something, then got distracted by notebooks (nothing new there), so now I'm going to.

I recently had a new idea for a story, which I really am not going to work on for a long while (if I keep telling myself that it just might happen), and on the first page I have written this:

The sirens sound,
Everyone runs.
There's explosions within moments,
Followed by poisonous gases.
That's when the screaming starts.

I reach for you,
The first thing my heart cries for.
As soon as your hands in mine,
I feel ready for the fight.
You've made all of this worth it.

I never thought I'd need you,
Not so completely like the air I breathe.
And I know we work,
Like tick and tock.
Because you need me just the same.

A women's howls divert my eyes from yours,
She walks towards stacks of scattered debris.
I wondered what her home once looked like,
How many she's lot in this endless war.
Please God, don't let me lose you.

You drag me away from the newly broken,
Towards anywhere that will keep us safe.
For the briefest moment I am glad,
That he didn't live to see what we've become.
The world we were trying so hard to save.

We get caught in a thrashing crowd,
And now we've no other way to turn.
I see it before anyone else does,
I tug on your arm and point up.
We both know we can't run anymore.

You turn to me and hold my face,
Your fingers caress my skin passionately.
I don't want this to be the end,
We've fought so hard and had so little time you and me.
Why has my world never been fair?

"God I love you," you breath,
Your voice is like a warm blanket.
I stroke the back of your neck gently,
The way that makes you smile.
You kiss me while we have time.

"Now it can take me,
I don't care where,
Anywhere if it's with you."

This is something I wrote, after discovering these two new characters to add to the world I created for this story.

So now I've shared something that I feel is the key to me sustaining my sanity, and a little of my work, I'm off to see which notebook I feel like working on today.

2011...What a year you've been...And it hasn't finished.

Recently I heard someone say; oh they said 2011 was going to be a bad year didn't they?
I want to know who this particular someone was, and if they looked into my future.
January started pretty much the way it always does, except for the fact I finished my first novel, and learnt how to write my query letter and synopsis.
Then I suddenly got very ill. It was the kind of illness that had me admitted into hospital several times before I was diagnosed with what was actually wrong with me. This was also after I had been passed around to a dozen various doctors, and been to see my GP up-tine times.
It was also the kind of illness that still affects me now. My immune system was attacked quite severely, and is still struggling to patch itself back together after being so ill. It also affected the rest of my life.
I had to suspend my university course; otherwise I was told I'd fail. I missed out on lots of social events. Hardly been to work, a part-time job that I adore.

We struggled with money, actually still are. No one tells you how hard money can be to manage. Yes they are plenty of good, better things that money can't buy: but it helps, enables you to enjoy those other wonderful things in life.

And since being ill, it seemed to me that everything that could go wrong, has.
Although I can't say the year has been all bad. I've enjoyed great times with family and friends. And they all spoilt me, treated me far better than I sometimes wonder if I deserve, on my 21st.
I was given some great advice for my novel, which lead me to writing a saga instead of a trilogy, the first two books of which I have already written. That advice, from a very considerate agent, has also resulted in me writing a better first novel.
The other thing about this year I'm so grateful to have succeeded in, is increasing my reading list. I've read so many great books, mainly in the genre I wish to base my writing career, and the list is ever growing.
So far I've read:

• City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare
• Starcrossed by Josephine Angelini
• Howls Moving Castle By Diana Wynne Jones
• The Swan Kingdom by Zoë Marriott
• Daughter of the Flames by Zoë Marriott (Currently Reading)
  
• Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce
• A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks
• Beastly by Alex Flinn
• A Kiss in Time by Alex Flinn
• Cloaked by Alex Flinn
• Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater
• Linger by Maggie Stiefvater
• Lament by Maggie Stiefvater
• Ballad by Maggie Stiefvater
• Passion by Lauren Kate
• Eternal Kiss (YA Vampire Short Story Collection - MUST READ!)
  
• Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine
• Eternal by Cynthia Leitich Smith
• Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling (Re read for the 100th time)

The next top ones to read are:

• Forever by Maggie Stiefvater
• The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
  
• Across the Universe by Beth Revis
• Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick
• Crescendo by Becca Fitzpatrick
• Shadows on The Moon by Zoë Marriott
• The Iron Fey Series by Julie Kagawa
• Unearthly by Cynthia Hand
• Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia & Margaret Stone
• Beautiful Darkness by Kami Garcia & Margaret Stone
• The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks
• Dear John by Nicholas Sparks
• The Gathering by Kelley Armstrong
• Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare
• Soul Screamers Series by Rachel Vincent
• Die For Me by Amy Plum

(Needless to say the list is endless, being ill and in hospital so often gives you a lot of time to read/research. Plus my friend has a great library I steal from.)

So yes, I'd say 2011 has been, overall, rather crappy. And I wish I knew when it would improve. But, I have furthered my work, written ideas and excerpts for several other planned novels. I have enjoyed some good times.
And I know I don't have it as bad as some, I know it can only go up from here, or at least I hope. And if by the end of the year, my one constant wish comes true, i'll be overjoyed.


By the way the wish, for my Mum to be happy.