Why Doesn't My Story Work?

So after completing my (still hopeful) final draft of my novel, I decided to give myself a well deserved break. Then I realised that meant I had free time, and got me thinking. My eyes wondered over to the countless notebooks, and I started to go over each story in my mind. And I couldn't get one of them out my head, it was shouting at me the loudest, begging me to come back.

A few months ago, during the time I was quite ill, I got to thinking about a story. One line popped into my head, and quickly after that the characters and their tale came to me very powerfully and strongly. I knew I had to write it. So I began, getting each of their details down while I could.

I managed to complete ¾s of it before I got stuck. I wouldn't call it writers block, but I couldn't move on and had to abandon it before I fell out of love with it.

Then I went on to do the revision of my other novel, feeling refreshed and excited, yet also ready to be somewhat brutal about the work.

Once I'd finished I spent these past weeks doing more research on querying/getting published. And during this research I stumbled across many authors blogs and interviews which I hadn't seen before, and I read a great piece of advice. (I can't remember the exact location of it, so if you know who said it please let me know.)

The author said she didn't believe in writers block. She said that she feels it means something has gone wrong, so go back to the place where you got stuck and fix it from there.

This immediately made me think of the novel I abandoned deeply upset. I thought about what made me so cross with it, and I realised; the structure was wrong. It wasn't working, it wasn't conveying the story I wanted.

That's why I made the tough decision to change the structure of the book, but I have not lost any of the original story. Now I'm once again excited to be writing about these characters I love.

I often read in authors interviews and such about how their novels started as one thing, and ended up with something completely different as the final product.

I always thought that must be such a hard decision to make. However after going through my own experience I realise that if it is for the better, then it must be done.

What's In An Anniversary?

Sometimes I wonder why an anniversary is more significant than any other day. Why should we hurt more on a specific day of the year? Why should the pain by any greater, when it can hurt just as much on other 'ordinary' days.

Today is my Dad's birthday, he sadly passed away a little over 3 years ago.

I've always said that I don't believe in significance that hangs over a certain day, but this year has seemed to prove me wrong. I don't know if it is because it has been a particularly trying year, or if maybe I've just been thinking about it more with the free time I've had.

However for some reason last month, on the anniversary of my Dad's passing, I found myself becoming really emotional.

And it wasn't just me. My whole family seemed to be feeling it, there were more statuses this year than last. And even one of my closest friends, who was there by my side when times were toughest and very close to my Dad, sent me a text about how she was particularly feeling the weight of the day.

How can one day manage to take a hold of people like that? I wonder if it almost forces us to feel such a way, other wise we are guilty of not caring.

Of course I care, if I didn't then most days wouldn't be so painful. Most days, the pain of missing him hurts so badly I have to force myself not to think about it.

I have been in a place where dwelling so much has put me in a dark place, one where I was unable to see anything else. The days all rolled into one and I separated myself from those I loved. I do not want to be in that place again, so I try every day not to be.

Yes I believe that grief never fades, even after years have passed the loss can still feel just as raw, but time can help you find a way to deal with it.

Forever Maggie Stiefvater

Sometimes a writer comes along and the only way to describe them is; magic. To me, and probably countless others, JK Rowling is the epitome of that, but Maggie Stievfater has her own brand of magic.

I can probably, I use probably strongly, understand why people don't like The Wolves of Mercy Falls series. However there is something about Maggie's writing that is so addictive that you don't even realise you've read forty pages. She writes with effortless beauty.

Every time I've picked up one of the three books I've been ill, but they have been the perfect escapism for me. Shiver introduced to me a great love story, Linger added more drama and depth and two more great characters.

Throughout each book I've been able to dive into these characters who are perfectly moulded, flaws and all. I think all the characters are great, in their own non-functional, broken way. They managed to find respect and love for each other, even though really they are opposites, and find a way to work together and attempt to get through the drama facing them all.

Nothing much in the way of action occurs in the series, except for me it doesn't feel so when you are reading it. Yes it's about two people fighting hard to be together, however it's also about human emotions. The book explores how we deal with grief and strive. How it can be hard to find the power to say yes to life, but when you do, you realise it's brilliant. And I will say that Maggie never loses the humour that most of us need to make it through a day.

There's a great scene in Forever between Cole, Sam and Grace and a raccoon. It seriously amused me so much I had to read it again. I love how all of Maggie's books do that, make you laugh without even realising it.

I love this series, for many reasons that I sometimes find it hard to explain. Even when I finished Forever, I read through the author's note and acknowledgements and just stared at the cover, wondering how these books had taken a hold on my heart.

I love Maggie's Lament & Ballad. I thought I loved Lament more, but I have to love James in Ballad. I feel as though I can identify with parts of his traits and personality, he is such an extraordinary character. One that still lingers in my mind even months after reading the books.

I am not only looking forward to Maggie's upcoming novel, The Scorpio Races, but I am extremely excited to read anything that comes from her next. I'm ready to devour it all.

The Power of Notebooks

I write. I try to write something every day, even if it's just a couple lines that I store away, unsure if they will ever be used.
I have ideas, so many ideas that my friends can't keep up. They wonder how my brain can process them all. I say that it's easy, but of course I would, I've become used to living with myself. Most days at least.
I have written two completed books, of a series I'm working on, and the first I've just finished its final round of revisions (Final for now anyway). I have about 15 other novels planned, and lots of extracts written for each.
Sometimes I wonder if I should stop, but how can you when something hits you? And it really doesn't go with what you're currently writing, but you know it's so good that you can't let it pass you by, to be forgotten. So that's why I write down every idea that I have.
This is the reason I own 40+ notebooks.

I have at least one notebook and folder for each individual story, all appropriately labelled; two notebooks for short stories; one notebook for character and setting ideas; some for picture book ideas; two notebooks for my poetry; notebooks for my university work; one cupcake notebook for my favourite recipes; a notebook that is always in my handbag; one for this very blog and one for personal notes and for event plans/birthday or Christmas presents, that kind of thing. (And of course I have lots of spare notebooks for if I run out or have a new idea, plus lots of scrap pieces of paper.)
Perhaps you don't have to go to the extreme that I do, but notebooks are a very good idea.

Author Zoë Marriott, of The Swan Kingdom, Daughter of The Flames, Shadows On The Moon, posted a video on youtube about notebooks being a writers best friend. And I couldn't agree with her more.

A notebook is a great tool for a writer. For instance the one for my series is set up somewhat like this:

1. First few pages have titles and vague plot information.
2. Then lots filled with character information; appearance; traits and history etc.
3. After that there's tons of information on the world and setting. Diagrams, pictures that sort of thing.
4. Then I have some pages for random facts and ideas.
5. The back pages are filled with pictures and lyrics I find inspirational.

That's how I tend to set out my notebooks. But find a way that works for you, a system that only you understand. Also have a lot of sellotape/glue/staples at hand, you will defiantly need them when sticking all your collected bits in.

I actually started this blog because I wanted to share something, then got distracted by notebooks (nothing new there), so now I'm going to.

I recently had a new idea for a story, which I really am not going to work on for a long while (if I keep telling myself that it just might happen), and on the first page I have written this:

The sirens sound,
Everyone runs.
There's explosions within moments,
Followed by poisonous gases.
That's when the screaming starts.

I reach for you,
The first thing my heart cries for.
As soon as your hands in mine,
I feel ready for the fight.
You've made all of this worth it.

I never thought I'd need you,
Not so completely like the air I breathe.
And I know we work,
Like tick and tock.
Because you need me just the same.

A women's howls divert my eyes from yours,
She walks towards stacks of scattered debris.
I wondered what her home once looked like,
How many she's lot in this endless war.
Please God, don't let me lose you.

You drag me away from the newly broken,
Towards anywhere that will keep us safe.
For the briefest moment I am glad,
That he didn't live to see what we've become.
The world we were trying so hard to save.

We get caught in a thrashing crowd,
And now we've no other way to turn.
I see it before anyone else does,
I tug on your arm and point up.
We both know we can't run anymore.

You turn to me and hold my face,
Your fingers caress my skin passionately.
I don't want this to be the end,
We've fought so hard and had so little time you and me.
Why has my world never been fair?

"God I love you," you breath,
Your voice is like a warm blanket.
I stroke the back of your neck gently,
The way that makes you smile.
You kiss me while we have time.

"Now it can take me,
I don't care where,
Anywhere if it's with you."

This is something I wrote, after discovering these two new characters to add to the world I created for this story.

So now I've shared something that I feel is the key to me sustaining my sanity, and a little of my work, I'm off to see which notebook I feel like working on today.

Teddies Love Books

I wake up to this every morning and it makes me smile. Just thought I'd share it.

Romantic Fools 2

So yesterday I wrote a rather long blog about my love of romance in films. I went over a fair few favourites, perhaps rambling on, but it didn't even feel like a dip in the ocean in comparison to what I could have mentioned.

That's why today I've tired to narrow it down to just a few, and believe me it has proven rather difficult.

I'm going to start with my most recent love affair: Starcrossed.
To call it epic just isn't enough. It has a great pace, which pulls you along with every word, hooking you into this fascinating world. All the characters are extremely vivid, so feel very much alive.
And not only do you believe that the love between Helen and Lucas is true because it's controlled by fate, but because during the course of the book you witness them falling in love. And it is the type of relationship you can completely relate to, 'we hold hands and act like a couple - are we or aren't we?' - I know that kind of relationship.
Starcrossed is an absolute MUST-READ for every fan of YA Fantasy romance. You will not be disappointed. And it's written by the fabulous Josephine Angelini, who is one of the nicest writers around.

Noughts and Crosses is the first book in a saga written by the awesome Malorie Blackman, who I had the pleasure of meeting once. Nought and Crosses was probably the first book I feel in love with after Harry Potter.
The writing is just effortless, which makes the same for reading. It is a story of star-crossed lovers, set it an alternate universe, where the divide between races is rife. It made for such interesting reading when , and really made me stop and think.
It also has two main characters, Sephy and Callum, who are so intriguing and wonderful that you can't help but love them to.
Although this book comes with a warning, have tissues at hand. And do read the whole saga, it is extremly gripping.

Two writers I adore when it comes to matters of the heart are Josie Lloyd and Emlyn Rees. They have written many books together, which I've shared with many friends.
The first book I read written by them is The Boy Next Door. Short but powerfully sweet is the way I'd describe it.
There's also the trilogy about/relates to Amy & Jack (Come Together, Come Again, The Seven Year Itch) which is really funny, and full of real life. I hope that last statement makes sense. The books do not avoid the situations people often find themselves going through, it faces them head on with humour and sensitivity.
My favourite book of theirs would probably have to be Love Lives. It is so gripping, and I absolutely love the premise and setting. It has a little more drama than the others, but still dealt with in the same loving humorous way.

One of my favourite writers has to be Cassandra Clare. She writes amazing books for YA, set in the world of Shadowhunters. And her two series, The Mortal Instruments and The Internal Devices, is filled with romance.
I recently reread City of Bones, and remembered why I love Jace and Clary's relationship. There was no moping around from Clary for Jace, no really obvious signals, it was just a bond they had that lead to them falling in love. (With the wrong person? The question still hangs in the air.) Everyone loves a love triangle, and the one between Tessa, Will and Jem is brilliant. (And from Cassandra Clare’s twitter we can assume she is going to handled this with brilliance and originality - as she does.) I find it really hard to favour either of the boys, and Tessa is such a fantastic character. Cannot wait for the release of Clockwork Prince!

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. I love Harry potter, my whole family loves Harry Potter. We went to see every film together; we are saving up to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando.

Some of us even went to Alnwick Castle a couple years ago, which is used as Hogwarts for the first two films. And by the way, it is one of the most beautiful places I've ever visited, my Mum wants us to ALL go again.

Now I do love the films, (actually not all of them. Half Blood Prince - that's all I'm going to say) but for me they do not do Hermione and Ron's relationship justice enough. I love the storyline where Hermione helps the house elves with her campaign, it is fantastic. So therefore I adored the scene where Ron and Hermione first kissed, I reread the book just so I can read that. It really showed how much Ron especially had grown, and you knew they were meant to be.

Nicholas Sparks books are a great easy read. I have read quite a few of his books, and enjoy reading them on a rainy day or relaxing afternoon. One my favourites would have to be The Last Song, although this could be because I can really relate to the subject matter. Never the less it was another great read.

Also I want to briefly mention The Time Travellers Wife. I did watch the film first, but then I knew I had to read the book. I don't believe it's for the faint hearted. I know one of my friends found some of it quite harrowing to read, but she has a more softer nature.
It's such a clever and powerful book. It evokes so much in you that I find it hard to describe. If you want to read brilliance, and a beautiful, true love story then do read this. (Or get the audio book as I did - I was crying in the middle of the train station, and I already read the hard copy of the book.)

Of course I can't finish without mentioning the classics of Jane Austen and Emily Bronte, but I think it is obviously that they wrote some of the greatest romance stories ever told.

Romantic Fools

I am a huge fan of romance, be it depicted in a book, TV show, film or ballad. I love to witness two people fall in love, adore it when they make me laugh and like it even more when they make me cry.

On Friday I went to watch One Day, and I am yet to read the book, but I plan to do very soon. I know there's been some criticism over the film, and concerning Anne Hathaway’s accent I'd have to agree (which hurts me to say because I love her) however overall

the film was beautiful, the supporting cast was fantastic, and I left the cinema with the urge to still cry. So after falling in love with Jim Sturgess, and the film, I thought I'd share some of my favourite (and not so favourite) films whose main ingredient is love.

My absolute epitome of a romance probably would have to be 'Becoming Jane'. (And it's not just because it stars the most wonderful James McAvoy).

It has such a tragic, yet beautiful love story. Not mention a brilliant supporting cast. There are so many lines from it that I could quote that make me feel a hundred things at once. It is one of those stories that I had to share with my friends, and make them suffer by spending twenty minutes crying with me.

One of my favourite screenwriters, for writing romance fuelled with laughter, is Richard Curtis. Not only is he the man behind Vicar of Dibley (seriously I could quote whole scenes) my joint favourite TV show, tied with Doctor Who, but he is also the force for some of the most popular romantic comedies.
Nothing Hill has to be a classic, and everyone loves a young, typically English Hugh Grant. It brings together two polar opposites, and shows how easy common ground can be found to form a strong friendship and love. It also has a stellar supporting cast; I am a big fan of the ensemble who makes a film.
And then of course there's Love Actually (do I even need to mention the cast in that?). I love films that interlink the lives of many characters, it makes you feel as though, yes this is the real world. (I also am a fan of Valentines Day, He's Just Not That Into You and am looking forward to the upcoming New Years Eve)
Richard Curtis is a man who makes heart-warming, belly laughing funny, tender films and TV shows that you want to watch again and again.

I really enjoy watching films containing the wickedly talented Sandra Bullock. I will admit that Blind Side has to be some of her best work, but I have to love Miss Congeniality, The Proposal, While You Were Sleeping, Two Weeks Notice (which happened to be my Dad's favourite chick flick). She has this vulnerability about her, and has brilliant comic timing that no one can dispute. She makes those films that you love to watch because she makes you laugh, and is so endearing that it lights up your screen.

I also have to mention the many period romances I love. The Young Victoria stars the superbly talented Emily Blunt, and is about my favourite royal couple (although Wills and Kate may be challenging that). It is a stunning film that I love to watch over and over again.
The Duchess is one of those films that took me some time to watch, I couldn't sleep one night and decided that it was a good time to play it. It had me wide-awake, sobbing into my pillow. Plus it has the delectable Dominic Cooper as one of it's stars. What a man.
I love adaptations of Austen and Bronte novels; I try to watch as many versions as I can. I love the Mansfield Park with Billie Piper, perhaps just for that adorable scene at the end. I do have to favour the Pride and Prejudice starring Keria Knightly. For one main reason, the man who the voice who makes me swoon, Matthew Macfadyen. I love it when the M&S adverts come on my television.
I also really like the Emma versions with Kate Beckinsale, and Romola Garai. Jane Eyre with Ruth Wilson and Toby Stephens, also really really excited about the latest version with Mia Wasikowska and Michael Fassbender.
And I have to mention the Tess of the D'Urbervilles with Gemma Arterton. I know it’s not a film, but it's bloody fantastic. (I watched this for free on youtube before buying the DVD, so go find it.)

I can't finish without mentioning the absolutely divine, break my heart but make me want to do it again, Shakespeare In Love.
During my first viewing of this, it was interrupted by my sister and brother walking in drunk. To say I was not amused would be an understatement.
This came out during the start of my love for William Shakespeare. It is beyond any other words I have.
And I am going to do it one more time, the cast!!! The film is silled with some of the greatest actors the world has to offer. And Geoffrey Rush is one of the finest, just look as his catalouge.
This was my Becoming Jane, before I knew James McAvoy and watched him as Tom LeFroy. This is one of my romantic classics.

Now I would discuss romance in animation films, i.e. Disney etc, but you will be here all night (and plus I have planned blog about my love for animation films).
Also while writing this I did think about the many wonderful books I have read containing romance, and let's face it-that's pretty much all books I read) so tomorrow I will have a blog devoted to romance in books.

Aww love, look at what you do to me.