Thursday, 23 February 2012

Long Time No See

  Wow...it's been a long time since I've been on Blogger, I haven't even glanced at it. It feels odd even writing something new for a post, although it's also mixed with another feeling, one that can only be described in three words...I've missed this.
  The festive season seemed to sweep me away, and I spent my days watching Christmas television, eating lots of chocolate and satsumas, generally lazying around. Then January arrived and I realised I had lots of uni work to do, so there went my days. And then suddenly all the days seemed to come and go, and before I knew it we're nearly at the end of February.
                                       No way. *Blinks*
  It feels like nothing has happened, yet so much that I can even think what. Life is as bumpy as ever, but I know that's a sentiment we can all share in.
  Talking about sharing, I wanted to share something with you. (If there's anyone still left reading this.) I talk a lot on here about my dreams of becoming a writer, however there is one dream that I long ago realised I would have to set aside.
  
   In my wildest dreams, the kind where I can do ANYTHING...anything in the world and know I'll be awesome at it, I act. But not just any kind of acting, I want to be an actress of musicals. The kind that dances, and cries while they're singing, then plasters on a smile for the finale. (Of course, not all musicals end happily.)
   But I put this dream aside because I had to do that horrid thing and admit that I wasn't good enough. Because I wasn't. However I still dream that one day I will have a chance to at least be in the chorus of some professional production, then at least I can say that I tried. And it was brilliant. I know that deep down I still have hopes to act, act in anything that will have me, but now I've got this fear that I'm not good enough for that either. For a variety of reasons.
  The thing is, as cheesy and clich√© as this will sound...it's the truth. Writing saved me. Without that connection of pen to paper, fingers on lettered keys, I would have lost myself and ended up somewhere that I don't even want to think about. I almost was there. Then the fact that the writing turned out not to be half bad was just a bonus.
  For me writing isn't just about the recognition, although it's great when praise comes, it's about the feeling of telling something. Telling something about myself, or a fictional character. Telling a story that only I can tell because it's in me. That is what's amazing about it. And when I read, I can see that feeling pouring off the page, because I know that writer felt it too, a burning desire to share something within them.

   And now I've shared, and I'm looking forward to catching up on some of the blogs I've missed to see what you've shared too.

15 comments:

  1. I'm a firm believer you can do anything you want as long as you work hard to achieve it. If you want to act, then never give up on that dream. With practice, you'll improve, just as in writing. I wasn't born a great writer, but I will become one.

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    1. Acting has been on my mind a lot lately, due to studying plays a lot at Uni currently, and I've been putting a lot of thinking into getting back into it. I'll see how the year goes.
      What a lovly inspiration comment :) Fab welcome back.

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  2. It's so good to see you back, Amie! I was starting to worry something had happened (I can worry about anything).

    There are some good amateur musical societies. Perhaps there's one in your area that you could get involved with?

    As for writing, I like losing myself in another world, and experiencing things through the characters that may well not be possible in real life. In that way, there's a lot of living your dreams through writing and reading.

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    1. I am so happy to be back! :) I hope you've been well.
      I have been looking into joining my local amateur dramatics, which is only up the road. I can it hear it calling me.

      Yes, that is one of the greatest things about writing. You can do anything!

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  3. Hey! Glad you back! Can definitely get on board with the mass of uni stuff eating up my life! I think that if I didn't have writing to escape into I would have just given up by now.
    I can also relate to not thinking you're good enough. I gave up on writing for years because I never thought I was good enough, and I was kidding myself by thinking I could do it. Then I thought, 'why the hell can't I do this?' So I started writing again, and I love it even more than ever, and I believe that if I put in enough work, one day I will be good enough.
    So I guess what I'm saying is, if you want to act, keep practising, keep at it and one day you will get to the stage (and look fabulous doing it!).
    Good luck, and I'm happy to see you back!

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    1. I am so with you on that, writing for pleasure is the only thing keeping me sane!
      I'm glad you managed to find your way back to writing. I think I'm starting to realise that I just need to have a little more faith in myself and just go for it. It's been some time since I've even thought about acting, but I now feel ready for the new challenge!
      :)

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    2. Oh shall I say renewed challenge!

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    3. Well maybe that was what you needed, a little break to realise how much you wanted to do it! Nothing worth doing is ever easy after all.
      I've left you a little something on my blog, check it out http://www.strangerthanwriting.blogspot.com/2012/03/how-heather-made-my-day.html

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  4. Yes, writing is very healing, isn't it? :)

    You said you, "...fear that you are not good enough..." Flick that little devil off your shoulder. You are good enough. So good, you don't even understand! Keep hoping and working.

    Have a lovely weekend, Amie!

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    1. It is, don't know what I would have done without it.
      That is such good advice, I think I'm ready to chase those fears away!

      Thank you, you too! :)

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  5. Writing has always been my dream, and it definitely saved me. I've never really wanted to act, mostly because I never had any sort of talent for it, but being in a musical would definitely be fun!

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    1. Writing has such a power! I think the atmosphere of a musical would be amazing.
      Hope you had a good weekend :)

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  6. Lovely post - I really enjoy hearing what writing means to different people and this was no exception:)

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    1. Aww thank you, that means a lot. Hope you're well.

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  7. Have you flicked that little devil off your shoulder yet? How 'bout now? ;)

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